I had my family over to our house for Easter yesterday. It was actually very non stressful. My sisters (I have 4 of them) are great at pitching in, and they are all great cooks. But today, I find myself very sad as I mull over all the conversations we had.
One of my sisters in particular I keep judging in my heart today. As if I would do so much better if I were in her situation.
Then there was the part where I casually mentioned to another sister that I recently heard a study about hot dog consumption and type II diabetes. This was after her son indicated that they eat a lot of hot dogs. I am cringing now, just thinking about how cruel it was of me to say such a thing.
Lastly, I had a conversation with my mom about her hearing loss. My mom lost her hearing 5 years ago. She is not yet 60, so it is not normal age related hearing loss. She lost it all very quickly over a few months due to a rare auto-immune disorder. She has had a cochlear implant since then, but still can't hear very well. She especially can't hear in large group settings. There is just too much background noise. Anyway, she is really struggling with her limitations and how they make her feel so out of the loop. So many notions about what other people might be thinking. It breaks my heart. She probably has another 25 years with this and no really good solution.
I enjoy my family immensely. I am just not sure why I am sometimes such a self righteous ass around them.
3 comments:
great jess... now you made all of us readers whose families eat lots of hot dogs suddenly worry about diabetes. thanks a lot! ;)
sorry chelsea. an unforseen consequence of sharing my story on my blog. I was just being honest, and look where it got me. from now on, its going to be a bunch of made up lies. fake, fake, fake.
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