Today is my fourth day with the flu, but I feel SOOOOO much better today than I did the past three days. I am just really tired, but I don't feel sick. In spite of the fatigue, I am doing a great job of kicking Evelyn in the rear today. She has been a little out of control since I got sick. So now it is toddler boot camp. She has been in time out at least 5 times already and its only 11:30am.

Needless to say, I am getting a flu shot next year. This is my second year of getting the flu. Last year, I was 8 months pregnant. God, that was awful. I don't even know where I picked it up. No one else I know seems to have it, including my family, thank goodness.

The only plus about being sick is that when you finally feel well again, it feels incredible. I am always so alive after I am sick. I love that. That should be tomorrow. Tomorrow, I may conquer the world.

Rambling

Gabe and Evelyn a few weeks ago hanging out on the couch. Gabe loves Evelyn so much. He always wants to be doing whatever she is doing, which drives Evelyn a little crazy sometimes. We have had a few time outs for pushing and stuff this week.

On a more positive note, Evelyn has been doing some amazing stuff lately. She talks like such a grown up, she can sing all the words to so many songs, plays by herself, reads stories to Gabe, writes letters, wants to check her email, takes long walks with me, makes up names for herself, sets the table, and the list goes on.

And now for the big news......Gabe has been napping!!!!! He does not appear to be napping today, but after 3 days of good napping, I am in a little bit better frame of mind to take it.

Joe said he would be home at 5pm tonight! He has hardly been home before 6:30 this week except for Tuesday night. We have been making a concerted effort to get out of bed early so that he can get to work earlier. It has been good. I have made it to the gym once and he has made it there twice. A huge improvement over our previous average of ZERO. I am also trying not to eat anything (or drink anything with sugar) after 7pm. If I eat late in the day, it makes me really groggy the next morning. I just hate having the kids wake me up. I need some time to myself before they attack me. Hopefully, this will continue.

I am going to lose my mind

This is the third day in a row that Gabe has refused to take an afternoon nap. It is driving me crazy. He is totally mr. fidgets even though I know he is tired. This is, for sure, my least favorite part of parenthood.

Evelyn and I are going head to head today on the issue of food. I never have to do this kind of thing with her. Its odd because Evelyn has always been a very good eater. But I decided a few months ago to have it as a goal that she eat the same food as Joe and me at every meal. Lately she has been more and more particular about what she wants to eat, and today I had just had it with this. I offered her a plate of very good food for lunch. Chicken and rice. Nothing weird. She piled all of the rice on top of the chicken, and I don't think she took one bite of anything. I know she was hungry because she had been asking me for dinner for 30 minutes before I finally fed her. After a few tries, I put the plate away. But come snack time, that same plate is coming right back out of the fridge. We will see how it goes.

I just bought a bunch more of those compact fluorescent bulbs yesterday. The package says that they are 5 year bulbs, but we have not had any of them last more than 2 years at the most. We have only lived here for 4 years, and I know there are several that I have changed multiple times. Not that I really care, but it is a little annoying considering that they are so expensive. What are we doing wrong? I think it must be the wiring in our house.

Joe is back to work today!

Today is the first day that Joe was able to go back to work. Things with his back are getting better. He got some prayer at church yesterday, and we are continuing to pray for healing for him. I think he is pretty excited to be back at work. Joe is not one to take time off, so spending a week out of the office was a major sacrifice for him. And I am glad to be back to my usual routine.

Both kids are sleeping right now. Woo hoo! Every time I come down the stairs after getting them both to sleep, I always feel like I should do some kind of touchdown dance or something. Even though it is a regular event, it feels like a major accomplishment.

Did anybody see Evelyn's semi-major temper tantrum yesterday at church? I tried to put her coat on her, and she flung herself down on the floor kicking, screaming and crying. I kinda just stood there beside her and didn't say anything. Ignoring her is what works best with her, I am finding.

Now that I think about it, we had a weird day yesterday. Gabe cried in the nursery a lot and he was upset almost the entire time. Evelyn throwing public tantrums and Gabe falling apart. What next?

Things appear to be back to normal today. I hope it stays that way.

With Joe's back being on the fritz, I am the designated snow shoveller in the household. So, I shovelled snow this afternoon. Evelyn helped. It was so much fun. She loves the snow. She told me I was ridiculous for throwing snow on her.

I love snow. I don't like freezing rain much, but I really love snow. I love how everything is so quiet.

Today Joe decided to stay home. His back is really messed up. He is walking around half bent over. It has been threatening to go out on him for several days now, so it is not a surprise. And honestly, it is convenient that it happened on a day like today (with the snow and all). Joe's back does this a couple of times a year. The man needs more exercise! We used to do yoga together (don't tell anyone) and it really helped him.

Ok...here is the big news of the day. I MADE IT TO THE GYM FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!!!!! I pulled in the parking lot at 5:07am. I always used to go in the morning until Gabe was born. It has taken me too long to get back into it. And it still may not work for me, but I am really going to try. I find that if I don't work out first, it gets pushed aside. I am just too pooped in the evening.

Lately I have been really trying to lose those last few pounds of baby fat. I do really well for a few days, and then I totally blow it and gain it all back. I have been trying to focus on self control being one of the gifts of the Spirit, but I know I am getting it all wrong. I have not been trusting God with this at all. Honestly, I am just tired of the whole having to trust God day in and day out bit. I would prefer to have my problems disappear as a result of my faith. Pretty ugly, huh?

Gabe is doing EVERYTHING right now. It happened overnight. He started crawling, then sitting up, then pulling himself up. He is just now nine months old. I am totally addicted to him. Its like he and I have this little connection going on that nobody else really sees. I love it. He is eating now, but he refuses to be spoon fed. He must feed himself. I gave him pizza a few days ago! I like the fact that he is eating, but it is making him cut back on nursing quite a bit, which I don't like. I am just super-paranoid about plugged ducts and all that since I have had such a problem with it this time around. I'm a little afraid he is going to try to wean himself. I doubt that he will do that, though because he hasn't had a bottle since he was 10 weeks old. I am just too lazy to pump.

I love this picture of Evelyn and me. She is such a cutie. I think she is even going to survive having a little brother.

Pound plus my ass

I buy Trader Joe's brand of bittersweet chocolate which I use for baking. It comes in a package called "Pound Plus". Instead of 16oz it is like 17.6oz or something like that. Anyway, it is divided into 40 squares, which makes each square equal to 0.44 oz. What the hell? I don't know of any recipes which call for 0.44 oz or any multiple thereof of chocolate.

I guess the obvious solution here is to buy another brand.

I am baking today. That is why this came up. I am baking a bittersweet chocolate tart for my home group. And I am not even going to be there. Now, if that is not Christian love, I don't know what is.

I'm not dead

I just sorta fell off the blogging wagon. Its the kind of thing that is hard to get back to the longer you are away from it. It's like exercise. You lose your taste for it if you quit for long enough. Plus, I feel like I have to have the perfect post. What's that all about? So, this is not the perfect post. But it is proof that I am alive, although sometimes I wonder about that.

Evelyn is on this kick where she calls me Jess. I always tell her that my name is Mommy to her, but it totally cracks me up. Do you ever wake up and it seems as if your kids changed overnight? Like they grew up? Evelyn just went through one of those. It always amazes me. She has started singing all the words to songs all by herself. On Sunday, I went down to the basement and found her there playing all by herself. She has never done that. And she wanted to stay down there by herself. She didn't need me to be there. A little troubling.

Seriously, why does anyone make their child stop using a pacifier? It will mess up their teeth? Please. A pacifier is like cocaine for Gabe. Its almost scary sometimes. But, honestly, wouldn't it be better if everybody just carried around their own pacifier and blankie until they died. Like, instead of smoking, eating compulsively, and trying to hyper-control our lives. I guess those things are not as bad for one's teeth.

But, what do I know?

My pacifier of choice these days is called Gin. Gin and tonic, more specifically. I really like expensive gin, but these days I am forced to drink Seagram's. I guess life could be a lot worse, you know?

Evelyn turned to Joe this morning while they were eating breakfast and said "My milk came down". Evidently she was referring to her let down reflex. You see, she has been nursing her doll baby.

Kids choose to repeat some of the weirdest stuff. I guess I am glad that she didn't turn to Daddy and say "Shit!". I better quit that, 'cause it's only a matter of time.

14lbs 7oz

That's how much Gabe weighed today at his two month checkup. He has gained four and a half pounds in two months. Evelyn did not weigh this much until she was about 5 months. Gabe is truly a hoss. But, I guess all he really does is eat, poop, and sleep (with a few smiles in between).

Joe has been in Milwaukee since Sunday night. Tonight was the last night that I have to put the kids to bed by myself! It actually wasn't that bad (don't tell Joe). I have started putting Evelyn to bed a little early, just because she seems like she needs it. I think things have been a little hard on her emotionally, lately. Anyway, I even give them a bath together every other night, and I think Evelyn really likes it. I was so afraid that she would wig out when I tried to put Gabe in the bath with her. I guess it gives her someone else to pour water on besides herself. I love to see her love on him. Today she asked if she could feed him. Maybe in another month.

My old man

This is my beautiful husband, Chief Aebi. Right now, he is at the grocery store doing the shopping for me. His second trip to the store this week.

Joe has always been a lot of fun, (not to mention, very easy on the eyes) but ever since Gabe was born, he has seriously stepped up to the plate. Not only is he coming home early these days, but he has been super helpful with everything around the house. He busts ass at work, and then he comes home and busts ass at home.

That's a lot of ass bustin'.

My hat is off to you, Chief. You are lovin' me right where I need it. And most times, that ain't easy.

Gabriel's arrival

I thought I had better write down everything I can remember from the day that Gabe was born before I forget it all. So, here goes...

I had been having contractions all week long, but at my OB appointment on May 18th, the doctor said there was no change in my progress. However, she was willing to let me go past my due date, provided I came in for some fetal testing. I also let her strip the membranes to try to get things moving. That was on a Thursday. So, Friday rolled around, and I started having contractions, but I was trying not to get my hopes up, because I had been wrong all week. But I had lost my mucous plug overnight, and I thought that was promising.

I can't remember when I called Joe, but he was home that day by 2 or 3 in the afternoon. We were still not sure if this was the real thing. My contractions were close together, but they didn't feel particularly strong. I remember thinking to myself that I was tired, and it wouldn't be so bad if the contractions stopped, because then I could at least get some sleep. That was about 9pm. The contractions got markedly more intense at about 9:15pm, and we decided to call Maureen, since she was going to stay with Evelyn overnight. She was going to come over at around 10:30, but after a few minutes, we had to call her back to see if she could come a little sooner, since things really seemed to be moving now. She came over at 10. I kept trying to give her all these instructions about Evelyn. She was trying to get me out the door.

On the way to the hospital, I could not sit in the seat. I had to kneel in the front seat and lean my forhead on the headrest. By this time, I had to focus pretty hard during the contractions. No walking, talking, etc. during contractions.

We got to Labor and Delivery at about 10:30. This lady who was confirming some of my information was all mouthy with me. She was pissed because I came in just as she was about to leave. We know this because she told us so. She wasn't even looking at me, and I don't think she realized how hard I was laboring. Anyway, this super-angelic nurse named Michelle asked Joe to finish the check in process, and she took me into an exam room so she could check my progress. Now, it just so happens that Michelle was the very same nurse who was there for Evelyn's delivery. She is everything that a L&D nurse should be. Calm, compassionate, speaks in a low voice. We were hoping that she would be our nurse again. More on that to come. When she checked me, she said that I was about 4cm dilated. I was so disappointed to hear this. I really expected to be further along. She strapped some fetal monitors on me, and left the room. Joe was with me, by this time. At 11pm my water broke. We told Michelle about it when she came back, and they started prepping me for Labor and Delivery. They put in a port, and just before we left the room, Michelle said that our nurse would be Anne, and that she is hearing impaired. She said she is an excellent nurse, but to make sure that she could see our faces when we were talking to her. We walked down the hall to a labor and delivery room. Michelle helped us with our breathing techniques on the way. I guess we should have practiced them more, but it's a little like riding a bike. Michelle helped us get set up in the room. I sat on a birthing ball in between contractions, and I stood up and bent over the bed during the contractions.

We met Anne, our labor and delivery nurse. She started out by asking a lot of questions about my medical history. I still needed to have fetal monitoring done. They were trying to get what they called a "reactive strip", which is a logue of the baby's activity/condition during an awake state. I think they needed this because I did not have an IV. Anyway, they were never able to get it, and they wound up doing fetal monitoring during the entire labor. This might not have been so bad, except for the fact that Anne had a real knack for pressing the fetal monitor right on the part of my lower abdomen that hurt the most during each contraction. It must have taken her years to develop such a talent.

Pretty soon, I started feeling the need to push, and I told Anne. It was surprisingly soon. Like maybe 15 minutes after we got there. In her bitchiest voice, she said, "well, you're going to have to get in the bed if you want me to check you." I think she was pissed that I did not have an epidural, and that I was not in the bed, because she treated me like crap. I got in the bed, and she checked me again. I think at that point she said I was 7cm dilated. I think they had already called the doctor at that point. I sure as hell hope they had, 'cause it gets ugly at this point.

So, I got back out of the bed to try to get those last 3cm. And sure enough, I really felt like I needed to push. I waited a few minutes, and then I told Anne about it. She said (annoyed) that it had not even been ten minutes since she had checked me last. She wanted to wait a little longer. Here is where it gets a little fuzzy. I know that from that point on, I was not checked again until the doctor came in. But, somehow, I wound up in the bed again. I think I had to get in bed, because if I stood up any longer, I was going to have the baby right then. So I lay on my side, holding onto the rail for dear life and staring at Joe while trying to breathe through the contractions. Anne was totally uninvolved. She just stood back watching us, and she would say, just keep puffing through those. Joe says that we carried on like this for 45 minutes, waiting for the doctor to get there. My abdomen was convulsing from me trying not to push. But you can't really keep from pushing at that point.

Finally, the doctor walked in. Everything was all set up except that they had to lower the table. It was Dr. Paul, who is not my regular OB, but I thought she was just fine. When I put my legs in the stirrups, the baby's head was already right there. I pushed twice, and after that Dr. Paul did an episiotomy. It was a little weird, because all I saw was this huge syringe sticking in my crotch, and I could tell when she cut my flesh, although it didn't hurt. Joe said he couldn't watch. Obviously, there was no discussion about this, because there was no time. Anyway, it was a very minor episiotomy. On the third push the head was out, and then came the rest of the body. The first thing the doctor said was, "he's huge".

Indeed, he was huge. 9lbs 13oz huge. The women in my family tend to have big babies, but I guess I thought that with Evelyn's 7lb 11oz birth weight, that I had escaped this trend.

Now, here is the last thing. You would think that since Anne had decided to be so indifferent to my pain during the entire labor, that she would just leave me the hell alone. But, no. She has to help clean me off after I get sewn up. We go in the bathroom so I can try to pee pee. She takes this washcloth, and started to SCRUB my hindquarters with it. Not gently blot, being sensitive to the fact that I had just given birth. I do one of those hissing inhales, like when something really hurts, and I asked her, "can I do that instead?" She said, "If you want to", like I was crazy or something.

Gabe was born at 12:45am, so the whole thing was pretty quick. I am grateful that I have short labors.

I guess that's about it. All in all, a pretty smooth labor.

Tomorrow is my due date. Every night I have enough contractions to keep me up for about 2 hours, then I wake up in the morning, still pregnant. Every night, I think I am going to go into labor. You would think I would have learned by now.

I know they say you can't stay pregnant forever, but I am not so sure I am buying it. I have an appointment tomorrow with my doctor, and I know she is going to want me to schedule an induction. I really don't want to have that conversation.

Anyway, the anticipation is killing me. I just get so depressed with each day that passes without a birth. And I don't feel like it is going to happen today, either. I don't feel all crampy or contraction-y or whatever.

At least I won't miss Lost.

This is me on my last day of work.

It has been a long time since my last post. I have been frantically preparing for the new baby. Fourteen days to go until my due date. I am sooooo ready. I never thought I would feel that way. Last time, I wasn't ready to have the baby even when we were en route to the hospital. This time, I can't believe how everything hurts. Last pregnancy I accidentally ripped our back gate off its hinges trying to catch a dumpster thief when I was at about the same stage of pregnancy. I can't really see myself doing that this time around.

I think the most notable thing that has happened since my last post is that our neighbor caught our fence on fire from a cigarette butt. We call our neighbors "the Ozborne's". As in Ozzy Ozborne. Not because that is their real name, but because they are pretty bad neighbors. They have 3 scotty dogs. They are the yippiest, and our neighbors let them out at the worst times. Like 11pm and 6:30am (on Sunday morning). Amazingly, Barb and Liz (the Ozbornes) actually have the gall to complain about how other neighborhood dogs behave. Anyway, Barb's twenty-something year old daughter is a smoker and is always throwing her cigarette butts over the fence into our yard! It is truly amazing. So, I guess it was only a matter of time before our fence caught on fire.

Ok, I changed my mind about the most notable thing. Here it is:

I am officially unemployed!!!!! So now, I just work my ass off at home with no pay, sick time, etc. But that's ok. That's how we want it.

My last day was April 27th. Chief and I may miss the paycheck a little bit, but that is it. I don't regret it in the least, and thankfully, neither does Joe. I don't know what I would do if I was made to feel guilty by my husband for not working. I am so thankful that we are in complete agreement on this. Anyway, this change makes so many things in our life so much less complicated. I love it.

my little monkey

This is a post that I wrote on April 12......and then forgot to post.

Evelyn climbed out of her crib during her nap yesterday, twice. Needless to say, she did not actually nap. Anyway, I have often wondered what it will be like when she first climbs out of the crib. Basically, there was a big "thud", then screaming. I attribute all of this to her new found skills on the playground and in gymnastics.

So after all of that, we had to go to our attorney's office to sign a bunch of papers. And, of course, we had to take Evelyn with us. It always seems like she decides to skip her nap on the days that I have a doctor's appointment, or something else like that. We are keeping her in the crib, though.