Okay, I admit it

I love Dancing with the Stars. And I really love this season because I really love one of the stars. Apollo Anton Ohno. Did anyone see his samba? Damn. That mofo can dance! I love short track speed skating, and now it is so much fun to see him doing something so different from his normal career.

Some of the other contestants are good too. Laila Ali is good, although most of the rest of the women are pretty bad. And Billy Ray Cyrus is a sorta hilarious, but he is not such a good dancer. He just doesn't have it. I thought I would totally hate him, but he has turned out to be very interesting. He doesn't take himself too seriously, but yet he is not just blowing it off. He works hard.

My next step is to figure out a way that I can get myself on that show. I am not a professional ballroom dancer, and I don't play one on tv. Plus, I am not a star (although I am sure some of you would beg to differ). Let me know if anyone has any ideas.

Evelyn developed a super stuffy nose last night. It happened all of a sudden on the way home from home group. Today, she sounds so cute and sad when she talks. She can't breathe at all through her nose. I am doing hand washing, hand sanitizer and taking echinacea, but I just don't see how I will be able to avoid getting it. With all of the nose wiping that I am doing I know I am being exposed to it. Oh well.

In spite of how crummy I know she must feel, she still had the energy to scream "Don't touch me!" at me today. Blood curdling scream. I was trying to comfort her, but she would have none of it. It is so incredible to watch your little toddler morph into a monster at times.

Am I the only one with an 11 month old who won't nap right? Because I feel like I am right now. He won't take two naps, but he's not ready for one. And for some reason, it consumes me when my kids don't nap. It actually paralyzes me. Gabe is finally asleep, but I spent way too much time getting him to that point.

On a lighter note, Evelyn finally noticed that Gabe's anatomy is different from hers. She was watching me change his diaper one day. This is how it went:

Evelyn: Mommy, what does Gabe have?
Me: What do you mean? Do you mean his poopy?
Evelyn: No Mommy, what does Gabe have?
Me: What do you mean?
Evelyn: I mean his swingin' body.

So then we went on to clarify that his swingin' body is actually his penis. Frankly, I prefer swingin' body.

Happy Easter!

I had my family over to our house for Easter yesterday. It was actually very non stressful. My sisters (I have 4 of them) are great at pitching in, and they are all great cooks. But today, I find myself very sad as I mull over all the conversations we had.

One of my sisters in particular I keep judging in my heart today. As if I would do so much better if I were in her situation.

Then there was the part where I casually mentioned to another sister that I recently heard a study about hot dog consumption and type II diabetes. This was after her son indicated that they eat a lot of hot dogs. I am cringing now, just thinking about how cruel it was of me to say such a thing.

Lastly, I had a conversation with my mom about her hearing loss. My mom lost her hearing 5 years ago. She is not yet 60, so it is not normal age related hearing loss. She lost it all very quickly over a few months due to a rare auto-immune disorder. She has had a cochlear implant since then, but still can't hear very well. She especially can't hear in large group settings. There is just too much background noise. Anyway, she is really struggling with her limitations and how they make her feel so out of the loop. So many notions about what other people might be thinking. It breaks my heart. She probably has another 25 years with this and no really good solution.

I enjoy my family immensely. I am just not sure why I am sometimes such a self righteous ass around them.

Today is my fourth day with the flu, but I feel SOOOOO much better today than I did the past three days. I am just really tired, but I don't feel sick. In spite of the fatigue, I am doing a great job of kicking Evelyn in the rear today. She has been a little out of control since I got sick. So now it is toddler boot camp. She has been in time out at least 5 times already and its only 11:30am.

Needless to say, I am getting a flu shot next year. This is my second year of getting the flu. Last year, I was 8 months pregnant. God, that was awful. I don't even know where I picked it up. No one else I know seems to have it, including my family, thank goodness.

The only plus about being sick is that when you finally feel well again, it feels incredible. I am always so alive after I am sick. I love that. That should be tomorrow. Tomorrow, I may conquer the world.

Rambling

Gabe and Evelyn a few weeks ago hanging out on the couch. Gabe loves Evelyn so much. He always wants to be doing whatever she is doing, which drives Evelyn a little crazy sometimes. We have had a few time outs for pushing and stuff this week.

On a more positive note, Evelyn has been doing some amazing stuff lately. She talks like such a grown up, she can sing all the words to so many songs, plays by herself, reads stories to Gabe, writes letters, wants to check her email, takes long walks with me, makes up names for herself, sets the table, and the list goes on.

And now for the big news......Gabe has been napping!!!!! He does not appear to be napping today, but after 3 days of good napping, I am in a little bit better frame of mind to take it.

Joe said he would be home at 5pm tonight! He has hardly been home before 6:30 this week except for Tuesday night. We have been making a concerted effort to get out of bed early so that he can get to work earlier. It has been good. I have made it to the gym once and he has made it there twice. A huge improvement over our previous average of ZERO. I am also trying not to eat anything (or drink anything with sugar) after 7pm. If I eat late in the day, it makes me really groggy the next morning. I just hate having the kids wake me up. I need some time to myself before they attack me. Hopefully, this will continue.

I am going to lose my mind

This is the third day in a row that Gabe has refused to take an afternoon nap. It is driving me crazy. He is totally mr. fidgets even though I know he is tired. This is, for sure, my least favorite part of parenthood.

Evelyn and I are going head to head today on the issue of food. I never have to do this kind of thing with her. Its odd because Evelyn has always been a very good eater. But I decided a few months ago to have it as a goal that she eat the same food as Joe and me at every meal. Lately she has been more and more particular about what she wants to eat, and today I had just had it with this. I offered her a plate of very good food for lunch. Chicken and rice. Nothing weird. She piled all of the rice on top of the chicken, and I don't think she took one bite of anything. I know she was hungry because she had been asking me for dinner for 30 minutes before I finally fed her. After a few tries, I put the plate away. But come snack time, that same plate is coming right back out of the fridge. We will see how it goes.

I just bought a bunch more of those compact fluorescent bulbs yesterday. The package says that they are 5 year bulbs, but we have not had any of them last more than 2 years at the most. We have only lived here for 4 years, and I know there are several that I have changed multiple times. Not that I really care, but it is a little annoying considering that they are so expensive. What are we doing wrong? I think it must be the wiring in our house.

Joe is back to work today!

Today is the first day that Joe was able to go back to work. Things with his back are getting better. He got some prayer at church yesterday, and we are continuing to pray for healing for him. I think he is pretty excited to be back at work. Joe is not one to take time off, so spending a week out of the office was a major sacrifice for him. And I am glad to be back to my usual routine.

Both kids are sleeping right now. Woo hoo! Every time I come down the stairs after getting them both to sleep, I always feel like I should do some kind of touchdown dance or something. Even though it is a regular event, it feels like a major accomplishment.

Did anybody see Evelyn's semi-major temper tantrum yesterday at church? I tried to put her coat on her, and she flung herself down on the floor kicking, screaming and crying. I kinda just stood there beside her and didn't say anything. Ignoring her is what works best with her, I am finding.

Now that I think about it, we had a weird day yesterday. Gabe cried in the nursery a lot and he was upset almost the entire time. Evelyn throwing public tantrums and Gabe falling apart. What next?

Things appear to be back to normal today. I hope it stays that way.

With Joe's back being on the fritz, I am the designated snow shoveller in the household. So, I shovelled snow this afternoon. Evelyn helped. It was so much fun. She loves the snow. She told me I was ridiculous for throwing snow on her.

I love snow. I don't like freezing rain much, but I really love snow. I love how everything is so quiet.

Today Joe decided to stay home. His back is really messed up. He is walking around half bent over. It has been threatening to go out on him for several days now, so it is not a surprise. And honestly, it is convenient that it happened on a day like today (with the snow and all). Joe's back does this a couple of times a year. The man needs more exercise! We used to do yoga together (don't tell anyone) and it really helped him.

Ok...here is the big news of the day. I MADE IT TO THE GYM FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!!!!! I pulled in the parking lot at 5:07am. I always used to go in the morning until Gabe was born. It has taken me too long to get back into it. And it still may not work for me, but I am really going to try. I find that if I don't work out first, it gets pushed aside. I am just too pooped in the evening.

Lately I have been really trying to lose those last few pounds of baby fat. I do really well for a few days, and then I totally blow it and gain it all back. I have been trying to focus on self control being one of the gifts of the Spirit, but I know I am getting it all wrong. I have not been trusting God with this at all. Honestly, I am just tired of the whole having to trust God day in and day out bit. I would prefer to have my problems disappear as a result of my faith. Pretty ugly, huh?

Gabe is doing EVERYTHING right now. It happened overnight. He started crawling, then sitting up, then pulling himself up. He is just now nine months old. I am totally addicted to him. Its like he and I have this little connection going on that nobody else really sees. I love it. He is eating now, but he refuses to be spoon fed. He must feed himself. I gave him pizza a few days ago! I like the fact that he is eating, but it is making him cut back on nursing quite a bit, which I don't like. I am just super-paranoid about plugged ducts and all that since I have had such a problem with it this time around. I'm a little afraid he is going to try to wean himself. I doubt that he will do that, though because he hasn't had a bottle since he was 10 weeks old. I am just too lazy to pump.

I love this picture of Evelyn and me. She is such a cutie. I think she is even going to survive having a little brother.

Pound plus my ass

I buy Trader Joe's brand of bittersweet chocolate which I use for baking. It comes in a package called "Pound Plus". Instead of 16oz it is like 17.6oz or something like that. Anyway, it is divided into 40 squares, which makes each square equal to 0.44 oz. What the hell? I don't know of any recipes which call for 0.44 oz or any multiple thereof of chocolate.

I guess the obvious solution here is to buy another brand.

I am baking today. That is why this came up. I am baking a bittersweet chocolate tart for my home group. And I am not even going to be there. Now, if that is not Christian love, I don't know what is.

I'm not dead

I just sorta fell off the blogging wagon. Its the kind of thing that is hard to get back to the longer you are away from it. It's like exercise. You lose your taste for it if you quit for long enough. Plus, I feel like I have to have the perfect post. What's that all about? So, this is not the perfect post. But it is proof that I am alive, although sometimes I wonder about that.

Evelyn is on this kick where she calls me Jess. I always tell her that my name is Mommy to her, but it totally cracks me up. Do you ever wake up and it seems as if your kids changed overnight? Like they grew up? Evelyn just went through one of those. It always amazes me. She has started singing all the words to songs all by herself. On Sunday, I went down to the basement and found her there playing all by herself. She has never done that. And she wanted to stay down there by herself. She didn't need me to be there. A little troubling.

Seriously, why does anyone make their child stop using a pacifier? It will mess up their teeth? Please. A pacifier is like cocaine for Gabe. Its almost scary sometimes. But, honestly, wouldn't it be better if everybody just carried around their own pacifier and blankie until they died. Like, instead of smoking, eating compulsively, and trying to hyper-control our lives. I guess those things are not as bad for one's teeth.

But, what do I know?

My pacifier of choice these days is called Gin. Gin and tonic, more specifically. I really like expensive gin, but these days I am forced to drink Seagram's. I guess life could be a lot worse, you know?

Evelyn turned to Joe this morning while they were eating breakfast and said "My milk came down". Evidently she was referring to her let down reflex. You see, she has been nursing her doll baby.

Kids choose to repeat some of the weirdest stuff. I guess I am glad that she didn't turn to Daddy and say "Shit!". I better quit that, 'cause it's only a matter of time.

14lbs 7oz

That's how much Gabe weighed today at his two month checkup. He has gained four and a half pounds in two months. Evelyn did not weigh this much until she was about 5 months. Gabe is truly a hoss. But, I guess all he really does is eat, poop, and sleep (with a few smiles in between).

Joe has been in Milwaukee since Sunday night. Tonight was the last night that I have to put the kids to bed by myself! It actually wasn't that bad (don't tell Joe). I have started putting Evelyn to bed a little early, just because she seems like she needs it. I think things have been a little hard on her emotionally, lately. Anyway, I even give them a bath together every other night, and I think Evelyn really likes it. I was so afraid that she would wig out when I tried to put Gabe in the bath with her. I guess it gives her someone else to pour water on besides herself. I love to see her love on him. Today she asked if she could feed him. Maybe in another month.

My old man

This is my beautiful husband, Chief Aebi. Right now, he is at the grocery store doing the shopping for me. His second trip to the store this week.

Joe has always been a lot of fun, (not to mention, very easy on the eyes) but ever since Gabe was born, he has seriously stepped up to the plate. Not only is he coming home early these days, but he has been super helpful with everything around the house. He busts ass at work, and then he comes home and busts ass at home.

That's a lot of ass bustin'.

My hat is off to you, Chief. You are lovin' me right where I need it. And most times, that ain't easy.